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Pieces
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
President’s Little Helper
37
FOD '24 • September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
My Cult
3
NGH '23 • June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
That Guy
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
Titles of Movies I Wrote About Time Travel
10
PKS '21-'22 • April 2021
- I Go Back in Time and Kick Dust All Over the JonBenet Ramsey Crime Scene - I Go B…
The Big Prank
23
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Justin wants nothing more than to be friends with his next-door-neighbor Nate. They’ve been w…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21 • October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24 • May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25 • May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Squirrels
71
RYSL •
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21 • October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Lou Bega Gets Married
8
PKS '21-'22 • July 2019
A little bit of Jenieva in my life A little bit of Jenieva by my side A little bit of Jenieva is …
Science Class
171
NGH '23 • December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever) Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21 • April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
Party
49
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
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