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Pieces
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22 • March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
Gavels
35
JGB '25 • May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
A Knight's Quest
96
RYSL •
The object of your next quest is to smite a dragon. No, not ‘he.’ This dragon is female…
Rare
1
HJH '19 • December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
Fireman
59
OMA '24 • December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
Vanitas
10
AJ '18 • December 2020
Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and o…
Middle School Beauty
34
MJS '19 • June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19 • October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
College
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23 • December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25 • May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
Suburban Journaling
48
JKF '25 • December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
President’s Little Helper
37
FOD '24 • September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
63
The Harvard Lampoon • October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
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