Sign in
Subscribe
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Search
Press ESC to close
Home
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Sign in
Subscribe
Home
About
Read
Magazines
Books
Classics
Comp
Masthead
Contact
Pieces
2019 World Expo
14
SWR '19-'20 • March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
Apology
17
EAT '24 • May 2023
Thank you to the school committee for having me. You may know me as the woman whose son killed the …
The Royal We
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2017
The Royal We was a sitcom about King Arthur and his loyal knight and roommate Sir Elton John Episo…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
WWE
28
ASB '17 • December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18 • December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24 • July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18 • December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL • December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21 • November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous • March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self) Larry: Jesus&helli…
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24 • December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Accountant
58
OMA '24 • May 2023
Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boat…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22 • December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21 • September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
Oliver Twist
14
RYSL • September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Eugenics
ASB '17 • December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
1
(current)
2
3
4
5
»