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Pieces

Stars
13
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
61
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
Birthday Girl
14
RIP '09   •   October 2008
BIRTHDAY GIRL:  Tonight’s been unbelievable. You are honestly the most amazing friends…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24   •   May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
FOMO Cop
101
SMR '25   •   May 2023
There were never any parties where I grew up. Believe me—I asked everybody. For my eighteenth…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24   •   September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
History Class
50
AHG '25   •  
Teacher: …and that is why so many of us are related to Genghis Khan. Jimmy: Related? To a w…
Debugging
103
FOD '24   •   March 2023
My story begins with me working as an engineer on one of the first computers in the world, wh…
Male Introspection
124
AMC '23   •  
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21   •   July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Placebo
77
JTK '24   •   May 2022
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
12
MAG '21-'22   •   November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
My First Crush
BWM '19-'21   •   November 2020
Her name was Sarah and I was absolutely head over heels for her. I’d cut two holes in a trash…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
Olympic Curling
6
MFP '23-24   •  
Me: Hello, I’d like one ticket to watch the gold medal curling match, please. Cashier: I&rsq…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
My Steed
8
MFP '23-24   •   September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…