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Pieces

Turing Test
35
FOD '24   •   March 2023
—  Hey check it out, it’s our lab's newest artificial intelligence. &mdas…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Jury Duty
253
SAB CLHC   •   May 2023
It’s Monday in Morrison County, and that means the courthouse is open for… business? N…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21   •   October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
Hamilton
140
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22   •   February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry.  Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19   •   December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Change Jar
4
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
Lover in the Night Comix
21
AMC '23   •   May 2023
Incentives
53
MRB '25   •   December 2023
Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade cla…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23   •  
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
Genesis
10
HJH '19   •   December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Goin’ West
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…