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Pieces
Polygamy
1086
JRD '22-'23 • November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
Dinosaur Story
25
FOD '24 • May 2022
Tour Guide: We’ve finally reached the Chicxulub crater, everyone, the site of the explosion t…
Stars
13
NGH '23 • June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Eulogy
35
JKF '25 • September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22 • January 2021
Dear Readers, My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12 • May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20 • October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
Online Quiz
15
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
Leisure Corner
GPL '21-'22 • March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
Birthday Girl
14
RIP '09 • October 2008
BIRTHDAY GIRL: Tonight’s been unbelievable. You are honestly the most amazing friends…
Dougle
114
AAD '23-'24 • May 2022
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21 • October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD • October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22 • November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Party
48
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24 •
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21 • July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
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