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Pieces

Escape Room
63
MFP '23-24   •   March 2023
— (To microphone in the corner of the room) Excuse me? We’re stumped. Could we get a hi…
Titles of Movies I Wrote About Time Travel
10
PKS '21-'22   •   April 2021
-   I Go Back in Time and Kick Dust All Over the JonBenet Ramsey Crime Scene -   I Go B…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22   •   January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
Therapy
94
OMA '24   •   January 2022
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.  That’s a headshot of you, bu…
Love Song
MFP '23-24   •   November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25   •   May 2022
Online Quiz
15
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
61
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Warning from the Future
90
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25   •   May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Driving a Plane
42
EAT '24   •   September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
Vanagon
13
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
Hogtown
44
CYL '26   •   December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools.  They either come for that or Larry t…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18   •   December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
Squirrels
71
RYSL   •  
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Morning Announcements
117
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…