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Pieces

My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26   •   December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
12
MAG '21-'22   •   November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24   •   May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
The Art of The Password, by Shar
20
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
If you make your password a real word make it assword because that’ll make your hacker laugh.…
Episode 243: The First One After the Robo War
25
SAB '24   •  
An overnight robo-nuclear war killed everyone in the world except the production team and one of th…
Date Ideas
1
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22   •   May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
Biome
OTLB '13   •   July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
History Class
50
AHG '25   •  
Teacher: …and that is why so many of us are related to Genghis Khan. Jimmy: Related? To a w…
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20   •   November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Eulogy
46
JKF '25   •   September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…