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Pieces

Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24   •  
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Gavels
35
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
Richard A. Smith: The Hero
52
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
Horse Girl Blog
73
LKN '25   •   September 2022
06/07/2022 Hey saddle sisters. Didn’t play outside with the other kids today. Too busy doing …
Geoffrey Sanders, World Explorer
10
PKS '21-'22   •   November 2018
Antarctica - There aren’t many permanent residents so the scientists make friends with pengui…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Springtime Getaway
23
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency.  Hi, my 8-months pregna…
Elvis's Draft Letter
87
LKN '25   •   March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
Exam Locations
8
MJS '19   •   May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22   •   December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
DrivingInstructor.ai
135
EB '24   •   May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Kitchen Sink
16
VG   •   December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink.  It’s almost as if he’s…
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …