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Pieces

Morning Announcements
116
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Protest
47
SAB FOD   •   May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Goin’ West
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Hit, That, Button
10
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2018
“How you folks doin tonight!?” Wooot, wooooooot! “Coming at you from the city o…
Vanitas
LRK '21-'22   •   January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Make Your Own Ad
15
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20   •   October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
Hottest Girls In School
12
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
Hero For A Day
15
MFP '23-24   •  
Mayor: Congrats again on winning the contest Billy! Batman will take it from here. Batman: Alright…
My First Real Piece Ever
1
DJL '20   •   October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
My PG Movie
20
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24   •   December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23   •  
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18   •   September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…