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Pieces
Thumb War
39
NGH '23 • December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22 • March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19 • January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
MJS '19 • July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
Hammurabi
16
ZDG '20 • July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24 • January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Excerpts From the Great American Novel
84
JLN '21-22 • February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
Science Class
171
NGH '23 • December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever) Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24 • May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
Protest
47
SAB FOD • May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Cold War Frat Boy
300328
SAB '24 • May 2022
Nuclear warheads dropping near the die table. Bombs away, babes. Time for a quick game to 11 before…
Marco Polo
16
HJH '19 • March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
71
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Shark Tank U.S.S.R
49
PKS '21-'22 • October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR. Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22 • November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
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