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Pieces

Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22   •  
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients.  Me: Oh…
School Tour
20
EBC '22-'23   •   November 2019
Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you, freshman. Come here. Not so close. You want to see the real secrets this s…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19   •   June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
Girlfriend
40
GPCP '22   •   September 2021
Of course I have a girlfriend, she just goes to another school. Which school? The, uh, the one a fe…
Teacher’s Note
31
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
New York
9
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20   •   February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
The Art of the Username
11
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Crazy Parents
4
JBO '10   •   October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Vanitas
124
CLC '22-'23   •   September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
Fortune Teller Comix
MAK '21   •   January 2021
Oliver Twist
14
RYSL   •   September 2022
Ladies and gentlemen, tonight I have the honor of performing the annual orphan monologue for this y…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
My Anime Fanfiction
19
JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
55
CDL '21   •   December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …