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Pieces
TV Show Taglines
31
ZDG '20 • October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
Lampy Goes to Bartaco
63
The Harvard Lampoon • October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
1999
10
JLG '21 • May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
Fireman
59
OMA '24 • December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26 • December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22 • September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20 • October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
Elvis's Draft Letter
87
LKN '25 • March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24 •
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18 • December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20 • December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go. It’s officially Halloween. My parents think I&r…
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24 •
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
43
JTB '20-22 • December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24 • May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Puritan Party
30
RYSL FOD • May 2023
Hey. (gurgles) You think this is allowed? (spits) It’s not even really drinking, man! …
Protest
47
SAB FOD • May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Middle School Beauty
34
MJS '19 • June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24 • January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
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