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Pieces

Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23   •  
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20   •   October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
My Speech For Tonight
35
RIP '09   •   October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Squigley
10
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
Squirrels
71
RYSL   •  
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Churchill
22
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25   •  
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24   •   May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
One Liners
92
NGH '23   •  
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21   •   February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Modern Mom
27
CYL '26   •   September 2022
My mom isn’t like other moms.  When I was conceived, my mother didn’t carry me in …
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25   •  
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…