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Pieces
The Big Prank
23
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Justin wants nothing more than to be friends with his next-door-neighbor Nate. They’ve been w…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24 • March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Waterboy
90
NGH '23 • January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26 • December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
Opening Line of My Book
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
“Alright everyone… settle down, settle down, if you could all gather round, come a lit…
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22 • November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23 • May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24 •
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24 • December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
229
JRD '22-'23 • January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22 • March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Party
49
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
The Talk
LRK '21-'22 • November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
Frogs
70
AMC '23 •
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