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Pieces

Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Birthday Card
20
RIP '09   •   October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
51
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
Lawnmower
11
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Draft Dodging
60
RYSL   •   May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
My Anime Fanfiction
19
JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24   •   March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Next in Line Comix
21
MIC '26   •   May 2023
Brinkmanship
36
CLC '22-'23   •   May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
Waterboy
90
NGH '23   •   January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
122
JRD '22-'23   •   July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24   •   January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
The Royal We
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2017
The Royal We was a sitcom about King Arthur and his loyal knight and roommate Sir Elton John Episo…
Kitchen Sink
16
VG   •   December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink.  It’s almost as if he’s…