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Pieces

Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25   •   May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
DrivingInstructor.ai
135
EB '24   •   May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
President’s Little Helper
37
FOD '24   •   September 2021
Chief of Staff: Mr. President, he’s here. The solution to all of our problems. &nbs…
Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24   •   May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
The Talk Throughout History
41
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25   •   May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
That Guy
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
118
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
My Diwali
4
SAB '24   •  
Diwali is a festival of lights that occurs in either October or November and is one of the major fe…