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Pieces

Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
MFP '23-24   •   May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
Eugenics
ASB '17   •   December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
Disenchantment Day
48
CYL '26   •   May 2023
Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year.  I live to shatter the false sense of secur…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18   •   October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
38
NGH '23   •   January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
Brain Man
42
JKF '25   •   March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Application
83
EBC '22-'23   •   October 2020
Hey Angel- Thanks for letting me read your college essay! I’ve left a few comments below. L…
Godzilla Comix
37
AMC '23   •  
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19   •   May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
The Big Man on Campus
10
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2018
Yesterday the Big Man on Campus came to class late and the professor apologized. The class cried be…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Party
48
JKF FOD   •   May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party?  Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Econdoms
29
WLU '25   •   May 2022
Store Closing
DRM '18   •   December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…