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Pieces

Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D   L_KE &n…
Gavels
35
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24   •  
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22   •   December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12   •   May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Day in the Life Comix
30
IKI '26   •   May 2023
Eulogy
46
JKF '25   •   September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Words to Console a Grieving Friend
21
FOD '24   •   September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22   •   December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
Hogtown
44
CYL '26   •   December 2023
Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools.  They either come for that or Larry t…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20   •   August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Marco Polo
16
HJH '19   •   March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
Hottest Girls In School
12
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
A Worry
10
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
Ashes
11
JFAR '19-'22   •   March 2019
-Well hereeeee you go Mrs. Johnson — your very own son’s ashes. -Why, doctor, these as…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…