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Pieces

Squigley
10
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22   •   November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Closing Argument
142
SEH '26   •   May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25   •   May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22   •   May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
Costume Party
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24   •  
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…
Dear President
29
HJH '19   •   October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Turing Test
35
FOD '24   •   March 2023
—  Hey check it out, it’s our lab's newest artificial intelligence. &mdas…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
The Royal We
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2017
The Royal We was a sitcom about King Arthur and his loyal knight and roommate Sir Elton John Episo…
The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire
9
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2020
Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about t…
Dialogue Piece
44
MFP '23-24   •   March 2023
—  How was your weekend? —  I can’t tell you about things I did …
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
Teacher’s Note
31
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21   •   December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…