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Pieces

Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20   •   November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Therapy
94
OMA '24   •   January 2022
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.  That’s a headshot of you, bu…
Hottest Girls In School
12
YMC '21-'22   •   December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
JEC '21   •   July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…
New York
9
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
Strange Position
26
SAB '24   •  
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
Gavels
35
JGB '25   •   May 2023
You know that feeling when you take out your laundry and there’s only one sock, and you&rsquo…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23   •   May 2022
Ice Gun
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Bulimia Recovery Clinic
81
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21   •   October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20   •   October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…