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Pieces

FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24   •   May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25   •   September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
Voice-Activated Lights
155
SMR '25   •   March 2023
— I’m excited to see your new place finally.— Here, let me turn on the lights. AH…
Excerpts From the Great American Novel
84
JLN '21-22   •   February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
New York
9
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
One Man Show
36
EPS '24   •   August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
Escape Room
63
MFP '23-24   •   March 2023
— (To microphone in the corner of the room) Excuse me? We’re stumped. Could we get a hi…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21   •   July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Vanitas
74
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. "Let there be light," He said, and there w…
Squirrels
71
RYSL   •  
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25   •   May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24   •  
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
Hero For A Day
15
MFP '23-24   •  
Mayor: Congrats again on winning the contest Billy! Batman will take it from here. Batman: Alright…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24   •   May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…