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Pieces

At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20   •   October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25   •   May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Glossary of Future Terms
10
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Welcome to the Year 2435! Please step off the portal platform. Here are some words you’ll nee…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12   •   May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
1999
10
JLG '21   •   May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney
126
LKN '25   •   May 2023
085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, …
Medical Report
72
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
The Black Death
50
YMC '21-'22   •   March 2022
- Anne, mine old friend, I… I hast been touch'd by the bubonic plague.- Nay! Prithee, Margar…
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23   •  
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
123
JRD '22-'23   •   July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Thumb War
39
NGH '23   •   December 2022
First rule of being the new kid is to look out for bullies. I see a bully in the bathroom threateni…
Change Jar
4
KPB   •   May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
Genesis
10
HJH '19   •   December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
The Big Prank
23
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Justin wants nothing more than to be friends with his next-door-neighbor Nate. They’ve been w…