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Pieces
Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
21
TAF '19 • October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19 • December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
The Life of a Cowboy
86
AJ '18 • December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
Brinkmanship
36
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
Playwriting
56
JLN '21-22 • February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention. “Well well well, what do we h…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24 • May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21 • September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22 • September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23 • December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23 • November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Raised by Wolves
36
LKN '25 • December 2023
-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew.…
The Number 6
12
HJH '19 • October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous • March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self) Larry: Jesus&helli…
Reddit History
10
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
Comment on New Zelda Game Out! by /u/bowzrrr999 in /r/nintendo [–] GREG_THE_MAN 0 poin…
Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
71
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20 • August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
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