Sign in Subscribe
About Comp Masthead Contact Search
Home About Comp Masthead Contact Sign in Subscribe

Pieces

Stars
13
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19   •   December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Kermit
75
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24   •   December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22   •   January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
Accountant
58
OMA '24   •   May 2023
Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boat…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20   •   August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22   •  
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients.  Me: Oh…
Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
MJS '19   •   July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
My First Kiss
32
JPW '21   •   September 2020
I pick up this girl Julia in my car, and I’m doing 90 on Lincoln Avenue, you know, batting ma…
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…