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Pieces
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24 • July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23 • December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy. Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18 • December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
Prisoner’s Dilemma
60
EBC '22-'23 • November 2019
Sitting handcuffed in the interrogation room, I started to sweat. They had the room at a cool 65, b…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
2019 World Expo
14
SWR '19-'20 • March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
Sometimes when I’m thinking…
12
MAG '21-'22 • November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
One Man Show
36
EPS '24 • August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20 • August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19 • December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
– Woo wooo eeh ahhh wooo *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
Waterboy
90
NGH '23 • January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Gun Show
1
MAG '21-'22 • July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21 • July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
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