Sign in Subscribe
About Comp Masthead Contact Search
Home About Comp Masthead Contact Sign in Subscribe

Pieces

Protest
47
SAB FOD   •   May 2023
Greetings, assembled cabinet ministers of the Soviet Union. I have a confession to make. I am not a…
Chained To A Tree
67
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
Run To End Lung Cancer
69
JLN '21-22   •  
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients.  Me: Oh…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
Biome
OTLB '13   •   July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25   •   May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Party
48
JKF FOD   •   May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party?  Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Crazy Parents
4
JBO '10   •   October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23   •  
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
59
SAB '24   •   May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
Whack-A-Mole
78
FOD '24   •   January 2022
I walk in every morning and the arcade carny asks me, “what’ll it be?” I reply…
Science Class
171
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever)  Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22   •   February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry.  Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24   •   May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Texting on My Laptop II
20
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
You have entered the chat. You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat. Me: Sarah Me: !! Me: ****…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
*mmmm* ..    (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark)    “mmm…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21   •   December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…