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Pieces

Brain Man
42
JKF '25   •   March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
Kermit
75
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
Squirrels
71
RYSL   •  
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Krauts
11
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
Legend has it while serving in the trenches in WWI Wittgenstein would masturbate to math. German S…
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25   •  
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
A Letter To The Suburbs
23
RYSL   •   December 2023
Dear Suburbs, You are my roots; I owe you everything. You molded me into the man that the city to…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
The Trial of the Decade
17
MMM '20   •   October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
Funding Needed for Life-Saving Surgery
251
EB '24   •   May 2022
(二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二二)$0 raised out of $50000 Please donate to my life-saving surgery. I cannot …
Dialogue Piece
44
MFP '23-24   •   March 2023
—  How was your weekend? —  I can’t tell you about things I did …
Toss Me Off The Edge, Then, Why Don’t You?
ZDG '20   •   August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
Sleepy Sam
48
JRD '22-'23   •  
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Keynote Speech
2
SWR '19-'20   •   December 2020
And that is how Denta-Firm is changing the game, as the world’s first ever blood-free tooth…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23   •   January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24   •   December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
Closing Argument
142
SEH '26   •   May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
Biome
OTLB '13   •   July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…