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Pieces
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22 • October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Driving to a Burger Joint
CAS '12 • October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?” Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
Modern Mom Gritty Reboot
43
CLC '22-'23 • May 2023
(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a …
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17 • December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
Brinkmanship
36
CLC '22-'23 • May 2022
“The ability to get to the verge without getting into the war is the necessary art” &nd…
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18 • December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
President Nice Guy
30
HFJ '18 • December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
TV Salesman
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20 • October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
Morning Announcements
117
SEH '26 • December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24 •
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen. Osama bin L…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
57
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Horse Girl Blog
88
LKN '25 • September 2022
06/07/2022 Hey saddle sisters. Didn’t play outside with the other kids today. Too busy doing …
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22 • October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Squirrels
71
RYSL •
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
Operation Enduring Freedom
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
George Bush: Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
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