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Pieces
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
Gorilla Larry
18
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
– Woo wooo eeh ahhh wooo *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19 • December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24 • December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Vanagon
13
MAS '18 • December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22 • January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24 •
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Modern Day Barbershop Quartet
4
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Quartet: (singing) Once is a day at a time, twice is looking so fine! Customer: Neat-o! A quartet!…
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23 •
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
Kitchen Sink
18
VG • December 2023
For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s…
Teacher’s Note
31
MFP '23-24 • July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23 • May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Lawnmower
21
MAS '18 • December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23 •
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Hammurabi
15
ZDG '20 • July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24 •
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
MFP '23-24 • May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22 • September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
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