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Pieces

Lolita
102
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Staring Contest
1
ghost   •   June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
Suburban Safari Comix
30
AKG, DCCP   •   December 2023
Business Presentation
11
CDL '21   •   June 2018
ME: And by subverting double axial capital inflows we can mobilize revenue twice as fast. SMITH: I…
One Man Car Wash
10
HJH '19   •   June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
Family
1
JPW '21   •   October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Turing Test
35
FOD '24   •   March 2023
—  Hey check it out, it’s our lab's newest artificial intelligence. &mdas…
My Anime Fanfiction
19
JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
Visit California
134
EAT '24   •   May 2022
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22   •   December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
Advice
4
NSG '20-'22   •   January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
61
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
JLG '21   •   July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
Larry Buys Condoms
20
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
My Trip to Cleveland
37
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
Store Closing
DRM '18   •   December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
Voice-Activated Lights
155
SMR '25   •   March 2023
— I’m excited to see your new place finally.— Here, let me turn on the lights. AH…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22   •   June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Relax
10
MJS '19   •   October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…