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Pieces
Answering Machine
10
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy. – The Doctor is …
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22 • September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
Waterboy
90
NGH '23 • January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Shark Tank U.S.S.R
49
PKS '21-'22 • October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR. Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
May I Approach the Bench?
24
OMA '24 • May 2023
You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
TV Salesman
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Birthday Card
20
RIP '09 • October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22 • October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22 • October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Dropping My D-Hall Tray
11
MMM '20 • October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
The Woods
72
JLN '21-22 • November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
The Talk Throughout History
41
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25 • May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Femme Fatale
15
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Condolences
61
OECGP ’22-’24 • March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Van Gogh
50
JKF '25 • September 2022
“Let’s start this interview with a simple question. Van, in just a few sentences, how d…
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