Pieces

ZDG '20   •   August 2020
Oh, sure. Back me up further to the edge of the boat. I don’t mind. Are you pissed? You seem …
JRD '22-'23   •  
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
JFAR '19-'22   •   May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2020
– Woo wooo  eeh  ahhh  wooo  *feeds on stems*. – There he is, what…
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really?  Ho…
PKS '21-'22   •   October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR.  Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Vanagon
13
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
The Harvard Lampoon   •   October 2022
What is the only thing Harvard students like more than telling people they went to school “ri…
SAB '24   •  
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
CLC '22-'23   •  
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
MMM '20   •   October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
MFP '23-24   •   January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …