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Pieces
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23 • January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
My Ideas for Hallmark Cards
24
MFP '23-24 •
- I’m sorry I spilled your drink - It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whethe…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
128
LKN '25 • December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23 • December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy. Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Draft Dodging
60
RYSL • May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
Eugenics
ASB '17 • December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
Lobotomy
97
GPCP '22 • January 2022
I sit down at the lunch table with a pruning saw and a smile. “Well, boys, I finally did it. …
Hit, That, Button
10
BWM '19-'21 • October 2018
“How you folks doin tonight!?” Wooot, wooooooot! “Coming at you from the city o…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24 •
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20 • November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
Crying in the Rain
3
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD • May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…
Biome
OTLB '13 • July 2021
Life ‘em up, boys. That’s what our sergeant used to say. Our job was to create the bigg…
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19 • May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Inventing the Wheel
8
MFP '23-24 • July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…
Love Song
MFP '23-24 • November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Secret Journal
6
GPCP '22 • December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24 • May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
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