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Pieces

Ghost Hunters
45
MMM '20   •   December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
*mmmm* ..    (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark)    “mmm…
Municipal Archive of Brain Chips in Dalignfort, VA 2077-2122
12
EAT EB   •  
Folder 4: Security Tapes (Wal-mart) 2099 Man: (spilling 2,000 FlexSeal onto conveyor belt) Sorry, …
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
16
YMC '21-'22   •   September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
Waxing Thoughts
65
YMC '21-'22   •   January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing”:– the woman wa…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22   •   December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Real Estate Tour
6
HFJ '18   •   October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
Love Song
MFP '23-24   •   November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Application
83
EBC '22-'23   •   October 2020
Hey Angel- Thanks for letting me read your college essay! I’ve left a few comments below. L…
Classical Conditioning
118
MFP '23-24   •   January 2022
Alright class, today we’re going to cover something called classical conditioning. Can I get …
City Nights, 3029
20
GPCP '22   •   May 2022
It’s Saturday night, and I’m looking for trouble. Shades. Scowl. Leather jacket in all …
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25   •   May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12   •   May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Litter
116
SMR '25   •  
I was born with so much upward vertical velocity that by the time I plunged back through the roof m…
Things I Want to Tell Stacy Now That I’m No Longer In Eighth Grade
40
KMM   •   February 2010
– I was the one who kind of initiated the tradition of everyone hugging each other at the end…
Kashan Rugs
10
EAH   •   May 2022
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22   •   October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Vanitas
JLG '21   •   October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…