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Pieces
Store Closing
DRM '18 • December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
Elvis's Draft Letter
87
LKN '25 • March 2023
This message is addressed to Presley, Elvis. Dear Sir: You are hereby notified that you have been…
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24 •
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Frogs
70
AMC '23 •
Horses
318
CLHC '26 • May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21 • October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Smart Home
43
JGB '25 • March 2023
Randy: (puts down bags) Ah, it’s good to be back. Jessica: Honey, turn on the lights, it&rsq…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
Debugging
103
FOD '24 • March 2023
My story begins with me working as an engineer on one of the first computers in the world, wh…
Lose Yourself Artist Commentary
2
JGS '20 • October 2019
Inspired Musings
1
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
A Worry
10
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Texting on My Laptop II
20
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
You have entered the chat. You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat. Me: Sarah Me: !! Me: ****…
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23 • December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
How to Handle Being in a Long Distance Relationship
79
CYL '26 • March 2023
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other. When…
The Royal We
JFAR '19-'22 • August 2017
The Royal We was a sitcom about King Arthur and his loyal knight and roommate Sir Elton John Episo…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22 • December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
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