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Pieces
Measuring the Length of my Penis
37
BWM '19-'21 • February 2020
*mmmm* .. (the tip of my penis extends to the 4 inch mark) “mmm…
Barbershop Quartet
ZDG '20 • January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
E=mcBUTT
10
MMM '20 • February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23 • May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21 • October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
BMW
28
EB '24 • May 2022
How to Handle Being in a Long Distance Relationship
79
CYL '26 • March 2023
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other. When…
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
My Fairy
41
TAF '19 • December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
Party
48
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Texting on My Laptop II
20
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
You have entered the chat. You have added Sarah Brickman to the chat. Me: Sarah Me: !! Me: ****…
My Feminism
23
AJ '18 • December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24 • December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22 • December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
Genesis
10
HJH '19 • December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
Science Class
171
NGH '23 • December 2022
Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever) Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can&…
Draft Dodging
60
RYSL • May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
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