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Pieces
Choose Your Own Adventure
40
JGB '25 • May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Next in Line Comix
21
MIC '26 • May 2023
My PG Movie
21
PKS '21-'22 • May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …
Squigley
10
GPCP '22 • December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19 • December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Municipal Archive of Brain Chips in Dalignfort, VA 2077-2122
12
EAT EB •
Folder 4: Security Tapes (Wal-mart) 2099 Man: (spilling 2,000 FlexSeal onto conveyor belt) Sorry, …
Algorithms
7
VIN '21-'22 • January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
Suburban Safari Comix
30
AKG, DCCP • December 2023
Girlfriend
40
GPCP '22 • September 2021
Of course I have a girlfriend, she just goes to another school. Which school? The, uh, the one a fe…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
My Steed
8
MFP '23-24 • September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…
Femme Fatale
16
VIN '21-'22 • October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23 •
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
Chivalry is Dead
119
JGB '25 • May 2023
When I mention this to women, they usually say it’s not dead it’s just changed with the…
Vanitas
124
CLC '22-'23 • September 2022
It gives me no joy to say that The Harvard Lampoon is in crisis. The magazine is figuratively tied …
The Art of The Password, by Shar
20
PKS '21-'22 • May 2023
If you make your password a real word make it assword because that’ll make your hacker laugh.…
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
38
NGH '23 • January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
Lolita
102
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
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