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Pieces

Tax Collector
56
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Red Dye 40
79
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21   •   February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Accountant
58
OMA '24   •   May 2023
Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boat…
My PG Movie
20
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous   •   March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Love Song
MFP '23-24   •   November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
10
ENO '21   •   April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
May December Romance
103
EB '24   •  
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25   •  
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22   •   January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Playwriting
56
JLN '21-22   •   February 2020
Last Monday they caught me playwriting during detention.  “Well well well, what do we h…
Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
Hit, That, Button
10
BWM '19-'21   •   October 2018
“How you folks doin tonight!?” Wooot, wooooooot! “Coming at you from the city o…
Modern Mom
27
CYL '26   •   September 2022
My mom isn’t like other moms.  When I was conceived, my mother didn’t carry me in …
WWE
28
ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
The Beat Generation
17
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…