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Pieces
Red Dye 40
83
EAT '24 • December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25 • May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
64
SMR '25 • September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25 • May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24 • November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Blockbuster
22
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
The year is 2004. It’s Friday in 2004. You head to the Blockbuster in 2004 with your dad to r…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
Dear Historians,
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D L_KE &n…
Larry Buys Condoms
20
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers. Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
The Talk
LRK '21-'22 • November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
Waterboy
90
NGH '23 • January 2022
It’s my first day as waterboy. The rest of staff is nowhere to be found, so I guess I gotta…
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24 • May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
Lifeguard
27
MFP '23-24 • December 2022
Kid: Help, I’m drowning! Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him! Fat Lifeguard: Really? Ho…
Half Day
11
MAG '21-'22 • March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21 • September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22 • October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
The Summer I Turned Into Danny DeVito
54
CYL '26 • December 2023
My mom used to tell me that I just had to wait for puberty to hit and then I wouldn’t be ugly…
Godzilla Comix
37
AMC '23 •
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