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Pieces

Taco Tuesday
39
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
My Cult
3
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
Tax Collector
56
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Visit California
134
EAT '24   •   May 2022
One Liners
92
NGH '23   •  
J. Robert Oppenheimer signs an NDA
28
CDL '21   •   October 2020
– You understand that after you sign this document you cannot discuss the Manhattan Proj…
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24   •   May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…
Fat Camp
120
JLG '21   •   March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
Dinosaur Story
25
FOD '24   •   May 2022
Tour Guide: We’ve finally reached the Chicxulub crater, everyone, the site of the explosion t…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Wheel of Fortune
31
MFP '23-24   •   December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D   L_KE &n…
Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
Anonymous   •   March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
Pool Rules
126
SEH '26   •   December 2023
Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless th…
Late
204
JTK '24   •   January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
The Taco Bell on Beverly
30
HBF '19   •   January 2020
“Where are you going?” you ask the homeless man wandering down San Vicente. “Don&…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD   •   October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Tech Support Chat
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2020
– Hey is this the–uh–the Niteflirt phone sex line? – No, sorry, this is th…