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Pieces

Larry Buys Condoms
20
BWM '19-'21   •   March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
2
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
The Talk Throughout History
41
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
Litter
116
SMR '25   •  
I was born with so much upward vertical velocity that by the time I plunged back through the roof m…
Crowdsourcing Request
1
TBW '18   •   December 2020
Hey Guys!I’m sending you this email to invite you to help with my crowdfunding campaign. I&r…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21   •   February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Placebo
77
JTK '24   •   May 2022
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
1154
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
Leisure Corner
GPL '21-'22   •   March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
Mr. 305
34
FOD '24   •   September 2021
Ever had somebody tell you that you looked like a celebrity? For some it’s a blessing, but fo…
Trading Up
46
EB '24   •   September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house.   – Starti…
Game Theoretic Standoff
132
JRD '22-'23   •   May 2022
- Freeze, punk! I’ve got you in my pistol’s sights. You can either come over and let me…
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
43
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
King of Smooth
78
CLC '22-'23   •   December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23   •  
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD   •   October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
22
GPCP '22   •   December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
Hindenburg
38
MRB FOD   •   May 2023
Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really ta…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20   •   June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…