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Pieces
1999
10
JLG '21 • May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Dougle
114
AAD '23-'24 • May 2022
My PG Movie
21
PKS '21-'22 • May 2023
‘PG’ stands for ‘Parental Guidance.’ I know all about this because I am an …
My Diwali
4
SAB '24 •
Diwali is a festival of lights that occurs in either October or November and is one of the major fe…
Mr. Worldwide
26
CDL '21 • December 2020
Pitbull’s plane touches down at Miami International Airport at 12:43 on a Tuesday. He’s…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Why I Wish I Was a Green Boy Instead of a Blue Boy
27
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
I was born a blue boy, but my whole life I’ve wanted to be a big green boy. Green boys get to…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Disenchantment Day
48
CYL '26 • May 2023
Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year. I live to shatter the false sense of secur…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
How to Handle Being in a Long Distance Relationship
79
CYL '26 • March 2023
1) College is busy, so it is important to set up a schedule with your significant other. When…
Larry was there.
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Texting on My Laptop
19
MAG '21-'22 • February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
221
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
If It Were Big Bird
MAK '21 • May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
College
21
HJH '19 • October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
Business Presentation
11
CDL '21 • June 2018
ME: And by subverting double axial capital inflows we can mobilize revenue twice as fast. SMITH: I…
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