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Pieces
Organ Harvesting
58
JGB '25 •
Dealer: Just give me the money. Buyer: Hang on. I want to see the goods first. (Dealer motions to…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22 • June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23 •
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22 • October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Fieldnotes
34
JKF '25 • May 2023
In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult.  …
TV Salesman
13
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
Non-Confrontational Judge
39
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Morning Announcements
116
SEH '26 • December 2023
Good morning Vietnam! No, it's not Robin Williams. I know everyone gets excited every time I do tha…
Donate Broth
49
JGB '25 • May 2022
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
Placebo
77
JTK '24 • May 2022
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Cancun Trip Review
42
CLC '22-'23 •
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
Heaven
113
CLC '22-'23 • December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
Package Delivery FAQ
27
JGB '25 •
Q: I had issues receiving the correct product. What should I do? A: Name which of the following sc…
At a wedding reception
9
SWR '19-'20 • October 2020
Well, here goes nothing… (jumps up on table) Ahem! Mr. and Mrs. Martinez, I can’t le…
Love Song
MFP '23-24 • November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Tuxedo
13
MAS '18 • September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
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