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Pieces

Churchill
22
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
Femme Fatale
15
VIN '21-'22   •   October 2020
She walks into the room and grabs my attention. Or maybe she grabs my hand. I’m shaking now. …
Ways to Get Away with Yelling Fire in a Crowded Theater
83
JGB '25   •  
- Wait for the movie to have a scene with explosions, then point and yell fire  - Rent out an…
2009 Make-A-Wish
51
JGB '25   •  
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Retirement Compound Salesman
28
MAV '23-'24   •   November 2020
Apt. 1B: Hello there! How often have you dropped that Life Alert of yours into the toilet? At your …
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL   •   May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
Baseball Ghost
77
GPCP '22   •   May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
My First Kid
48
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Surf Trip
47
HJH '19   •   December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
Kindergarten
3
GPL '21-'22   •   October 2020
Hello, is this the mother of Steve Austin? The stone cold professional wrestler? The 54 year old ma…
Cryobank Waiting Room
196
JLN '21-22   •   October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
Exam Locations
8
MJS '19   •   May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
Antidepressants
198
EBC '22-'23   •   January 2022
What they don’t tell you about starting antidepressants is that sometimes you’ll try to…
Stars
13
NGH '23   •   June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
Crazy Parents
4
JBO '10   •   October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Bob Golf
50
JKF '25   •   May 2023
“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand be…
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21   •   May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death.  -Wow, so you mus…
Morning Routine
15
HJH '19   •   December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
33
JTB '20-22   •   December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…