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Pieces
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22 • January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
19
ASB '17 • December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…
Hell
13
MAG '21-'22 • November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
Crazy Parents
4
JBO '10 • October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Eulogy
46
JKF '25 • September 2022
Welcome, Parishers. I am honored to speak in this holy chapel. You may call me Father Tod. I am not…
The Big Man on Campus
10
LRK '21-'22 • October 2018
Yesterday the Big Man on Campus came to class late and the professor apologized. The class cried be…
A Gentlemanly Cop
43
DCCP '25 • May 2023
Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under ar…
Psychic Argument
62
JRD '22-'23 •
Psychic 1: I told you, I don’t know what happened to your dog! Psychic 2: Then why did I see…
Amnesia
1
GPL '21-'22 • October 2019
– John? I mean uh, excuse me random stranger? – What do you want? – I have amne…
Dear President
29
HJH '19 • October 2019
Dear President, My name is Bradley and I am 8. I’m from Ohio and my mom won’t let me p…
Whale Watching
11
HJH '19 • October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
Cool Kevin
6
MAG '21-'22 • December 2021
Cool Kevin is a man the military pays to come to our office and yell at us about not smoking mariju…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Last Day at the Zoo
17
NSG '20-'22 • December 2020
After serving as head zookeeper for 25 years and chief hunting assistant during a disastrous week-l…
Judge, Jury, and Executioner
24
TAF '19 • December 2020
…and now that I’ve got you, I’ll be your judge, jury, and executioner. Wait, …
Springtime Getaway
23
OMA '24 • September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency. Hi, my 8-months pregna…
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22 • June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Late
204
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22 • October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
TV Show Taglines
31
ZDG '20 • October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
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