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Pieces

Hammurabi
16
ZDG '20   •   July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
Life After the Lampoon
18
JFAR '19-'22   •   August 2019
Conan O’Brien: Juan, congrats on graduating! Here, take this. Me: Wow, another Ferrari! Con…
Litter
116
SMR '25   •  
I was born with so much upward vertical velocity that by the time I plunged back through the roof m…
Gun Show
1
MAG '21-'22   •   July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
FOMO Cop on the Job
59
OMA '24   •   May 2023
Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer? Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you …
‘Tucket
109
JLN '21-22   •   June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
Book Discussion
31
OMA '24   •   September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
Bronze Age Teen Drama
123
JRD '22-'23   •   July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
Chained To A Tree
68
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
Wet Dream
126
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
Dandelion Tales
6
JEC '21   •   May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20   •   January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
My Diwali
4
SAB '24   •  
Diwali is a festival of lights that occurs in either October or November and is one of the major fe…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21   •   November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21   •   October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
CMD+Space Comix
57
LKN '25   •   March 2023
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22   •   November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Half Day
11
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
Laser Danger
30
MAG '21-'22   •   January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…