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Pieces

The Woods
72
JLN '21-22   •   November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
10
YMC '21-'22   •   October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
Next in Line Comix
21
MIC '26   •   May 2023
Chained To A Tree
67
EAT '24   •  
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
Me & My Babies
7
CDL '21   •   November 2020
I milk myself nightly into my tub. My nightly emissions pool in my bath, glistening with a spectral…
Trading Up
45
EB '24   •   September 2022
In 2005, Kyle MacDonald successfully traded up from a paperclip to a house.   – Starti…
Disenchantment Day
48
CYL '26   •   May 2023
Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year.  I live to shatter the false sense of secur…
My Feminism
21
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
Letter to Roosevelt
10
MMM '20   •   January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
2019 World Expo
14
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
DrivingInstructor.ai
135
EB '24   •   May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
Chimney Sweep
53
JFAR '19-'22   •   January 2017
Chimney sweeping is what I was born to do since I have no arms or legs. Doctors called my missing l…
Bad Days
21
MAG '21-'22   •   October 2020
– When Dad broke out of jail and decided to hold his second family hostage instead of ours. …
Charlie and the Next Successor
11
JGS '20   •   November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
Vanagon
13
MAS '18   •   December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me
27
BWM '19-'21   •   September 2020
Peter Sagal: Thaaaanks Bill, it’s the week between Christmas and new years and we here at Wai…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20   •   October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22   •   May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
Career Day
10
MFP '23-24   •   December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
Midnight Train
3
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will b…