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Pieces
The Last Tiger’s Deathbed
24
CAS '12 • May 2021
It was a rainy night in November and at the Bronx Zoo a crowd of hundreds of thousands braved the e…
Chaz's Adventures in Wonderland
37
EAT '24 •
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
Olympic Curling
6
MFP '23-24 •
Me: Hello, I’d like one ticket to watch the gold medal curling match, please. Cashier: I&rsq…
No More Sheriffs
4
JFAR '19-'22 • May 2018
Happy Saturday everyone – good to see you at the town meeting. All our sheriffs died last nig…
The Time I Got Caught Milking
22
YMC '21-'22 • February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
Pervert Alert: My Friend Josh
67
FOD '24 • December 2021
My friend Josh, hoo boy. That guy’s into some really fucked up stuff. Just look at him. Gre…
Staring Contest
1
ghost • June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
New Partner
20
JFAR '19-'22 • January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
Fire Department Tour
20
SWR '19-'20 • March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
Office Crush
70
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Mime Hero
41
EB '24 • May 2023
Lawyer: Hey sir, I know you’re on the clock, but you really need to talk right now. A flower?…
Yo Mama So Fat
34
JFAR '19-'22 • April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
MJS '19 • July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
How I Stopped 9/11
211
RD '24 •
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen. Osama bin L…
New York
9
BWM '19-'21 • December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
The Death of Kenzo Simmons
10
BWM '19-'21 • May 2021
-Welcome to heaven. Please state your name, occupation, and cause of death. -Wow, so you mus…
Richard A. Smith: The Hero
52
MFP '23-24 • December 2021
It’s every kid’s dream to be a superhero, which is why I spend all my time wandering ar…
New Cat
BWM '19-'21 • December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
Swearing Kills
54
MFP '23-24 • May 2022
If It Were Big Bird
MAK '21 • May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
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