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Pieces

Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
Bus Driver
70
TAF '19   •   May 2018
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Olympic Curling
6
MFP '23-24   •  
Me: Hello, I’d like one ticket to watch the gold medal curling match, please. Cashier: I&rsq…
Horse Girl Blog
88
LKN '25   •   September 2022
06/07/2022 Hey saddle sisters. Didn’t play outside with the other kids today. Too busy doing …
Sunglasses
AJ '18   •   December 2020
I was so excited when I got my first pair of sun-glasses, because I was able to see things tha…
My Steed
8
MFP '23-24   •   September 2022
Good evening, Lady Harrington. I have arrived on my mighty steed to take you away to — pardon…
Genesis
10
HJH '19   •   December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
16
FSS '21   •   October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22   •   October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
Love Song
MFP '23-24   •   November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
World Famous Worm
60
FOD '24   •   December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
There’s No More Gazpacho In The Cupboard
12
MMM '20   •   October 2020
– What? – There’s no more cans of gazpacho in our cupboard. The hell am I suppos…
Goin’ West
DRM '18   •   December 2020
Uh oh. I did it again. Fell asleep after all the kids got on the bus, so now I gotta get all these …
Godzilla Comix
37
AMC '23   •  
Tales of Vengeance
21
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
If Money Grew On Trees
62
SAB '24   •  
- Environmental protection would be bipartisan. - In the fall, you could substitute real money wit…
Chronological Excerpts from the Rochester Cult Massacre Reports
61
SMR '25   •   September 2022
Rick, 40 I’d better contribute something before anyone gets suspicious. “Let’s s…
Sleeper Agent
52
RYSL   •   May 2023
My first company-wide meeting as chairman started smoothly, but when I announced my plan to ban uni…
SNOWED IN
10
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…